How To Tell Friends & Family You’re Eloping

This post is gonna go over all the hard parts of how to tell friends & family you’re eloping.

First, if you’ve already decided you’re doing this, then I am so freaking proud of you. You have done the hardest part, and while this may feel hard, I am here to help. If your still on the fence, I hope having the tools to tell everyone gives you the confidence to choose this for yourself.

If you are exploring the idea of an intimate wedding or elopement, chances are you are the right fit for one!

Disclaimer

This is YOUR damn wedding day, and if you are not prepared to be fully gassed up then this might not be the place for you. I am here to empower you to dream big and take back your freedom. I am here to help you create and live the best day of your life, and I am totally biased when it comes to elopements and will always encourage you to have one!

To Tell or Not Tell

Not Telling

This is a hard one, on one hand you could keep your elopement a secret all for yourselves. If that feel right to you, then do that. Some couples with difficult family ties, or broken relationships with family may opt for this.

This is often a sore subject, and a topic of controversy in the Christian communities, and while I stand on the idea that elopements aren’t about secretly running away to get married, sometimes they are kept secret for other reasons. I will back you up no matter what you choose.

Telling

If you are close to your friends and family, and not telling them feels icky, then tell them. The next few parts of this post will go over who, how, when, and give you a few tips to use when you tell friends & family you’re eloping.

Who To Tell You’re Eloping

Maybe there are some people you want to tell, but some you’d rather not. Again, you can do whatever feels right to you! There is no rule book anymore. We threw it out when we chose to elope. So you get to do what feels right to you now!

There’s three main categories for the ‘who’ of telling you’re eloping.

  • Just Immediate Family – Moms, Dads, Siblings, Grandparents
  • Close Friends & Family – Moms, Dads, Siblings, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, and BFFs
  • Everyone – For when you can’t keep a secret

When To Tell Friends & Family You’re Eloping

Maybe you aren’t questioning the who part, and you have that figured out already. But then, you come to the ‘when’ part of the whole thing and get flustered. Well truthfully there’s only two options, either before the elopement or after.

Before

Telling your loved ones before the elopement what you have planned for your big day can be really rewarding. Especially when you now they love and respect you and want to support you in your choice. Being able to share your dreams and plans with them is a great way to connect and involve them in the whole process.

Telling them before can also take some of the pressure of if you aren’t sure how they will respond. This may also take away the feeling that “eloping” is a secret or a way to exclude them.

After

Some couples choose to wait until after the elopement to share with loved ones, and that is ok too! For some couples being able to go into their wedding day without the judgement or pressure from others outweighs the “secret’ element.

How To Tell Friends & Family You’re Eloping

Hints lead to questions

The art of subtlety will need to be your friend for this one. Dropping hints to your friends and family about the kind of wedding day you envision can lead to them asking more questions and give you the opportunity to confirm what they may be drawing already.

In Person

This one if for the straight shooters. The blunt truth of sitting your people down and just laying it all out may be the best option if you just want to rip off the Band-Aid and get it over with. Give them all the facts up front and be open to answer questions. Go in with an open heart and know there may be a little backlash at first, but that this can often be overcome.

Announcement/Stationairy

This might work for people who want to be blunt and firm, but the idea of looking your loved ones in the eye with this truth may be too much. Sending beautiful engagement announcements with a “don’t save the date” can be a cute way to let people know. Some couples opt to send out a reception invitation as a way to let family know the ceremony will be private but they plan to do a family thing after.

A Party

This is kind of like the in person option, but rather than a select few you get to tell everyone all at once. Some couples do this at an engagement party.

Couple on their way to elope in a grassy field in Montana

Tips For Telling Friends & Family You’re Eloping

I know this feels a little daunting, telling the people you love most that your opting out of the big trad wedding can be a little overwhelming. I assure you, there are ways to make it smoother. And at the end of the day just remember: Your wedding day is yours alone. You deserve the day you want.

Here are a few quick tips to ease the process and make it as easy as possible:

  • Remember your why – stay true to all the reasons you have chosen to elope. Don’t be afraid to share those thoughts and feeling with your loved ones.
  • Small & Intimate vs. Elopement – as silly as it may seem sometimes the verbiage we use can heavily impact how people feel about the words we say. Using words like Intimate and intentional may help friends and family grasp the purpose of your elopement.
  • Be excited – its really hard to be mad or upset with someone who is steadfast and excited about the news they share. Your excitement will make it harder for them to react negatively even if they may feel some hurt or sadness about your news.
  • Invite them to be involved – including your friends and family in other aspects of your wedding day even if they wont be there for the ceremony may make them feel better. Invite them to write letters to read on your day or join you for dress shopping. There are lots of ways to include them.

Brave The Crazy

It’s not totally foreign for some people to have a bad reaction to your choice to ditch the trad wedding. There are some ways you can navigate all the crazy.

Here are some tips for handling upset:

  • Boundaries – be clear and firm abut your choice and don’t be afraid to let people know you wont be bullied. Setting boundaries around how people choose to react to your choice to elope can help them see your solidarity in your choice and negate negative responses.
  • Facts – Stick to facts and avoid talking about feelings. If someone tries to pose an argument based on their own feelings or guilt you with how they feel you can remind them that their “feelings” may not be based in fact. Assure them while reminding them of the facts. The reasons you are choosing to elope.
  • Deescalate – Sometimes the best way to navigate is by being empathetic. Allow them to feel their feelings and try to change the topic to something more uplifting like ways they can help you or be involved in a positive way.

Remember it is also ok to deem the elopement as a non topic. It’s ok for you to choose not to conversate with people who can’t or wont be happy for you. You don’t have to continue to entertain negativity about your elopement.

Ready To Choose An Elopement For Your Day?

If you are ready to choose an elopement and ditch all those traditional expectations I would love to chat more! Let’s set up a time to talk and start dreaming up all the greatness we can muster!

Inquire Now!

View Packages & Pricing

For more epic resources check out the blog

This post is gonna go over all the hard parts of how to tell friends & family you’re eloping.

First, if you’ve already decided you’re doing this, then I am so freaking proud of you. You have done the hardest part, and while this may feel hard, I am here to help. If your still on the fence, I hope having the tools to tell everyone gives you the confidence to choose this for yourself.

If you are exploring the idea of an intimate wedding or elopement, chances are you are the right fit for one!

Disclaimer

This is YOUR damn wedding day, and if you are not prepared to be fully gassed up then this might not be the place for you. I am here to empower you to dream big and take back your freedom. I am here to help you create and live the best day of your life, and I am totally biased when it comes to elopements and will always encourage you to have one!

To Tell or Not Tell

Not Telling

This is a hard one, on one hand you could keep your elopement a secret all for yourselves. If that feel right to you, then do that. Some couples with difficult family ties, or broken relationships with family may opt for this.

This is often a sore subject, and a topic of controversy in the Christian communities, and while I stand on the idea that elopements aren’t about secretly running away to get married, sometimes they are kept secret for other reasons. I will back you up no matter what you choose.

Telling

If you are close to your friends and family, and not telling them feels icky, then tell them. The next few parts of this post will go over who, how, when, and give you a few tips to use when you tell friends & family you’re eloping.

Who To Tell You’re Eloping

Maybe there are some people you want to tell, but some you’d rather not. Again, you can do whatever feels right to you! There is no rule book anymore. We threw it out when we chose to elope. So you get to do what feels right to you now!

There’s three main categories for the ‘who’ of telling you’re eloping.

  • Just Immediate Family – Moms, Dads, Siblings, Grandparents
  • Close Friends & Family – Moms, Dads, Siblings, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, and BFFs
  • Everyone – For when you can’t keep a secret

When To Tell Friends & Family You’re Eloping

Maybe you aren’t questioning the who part, and you have that figured out already. But then, you come to the ‘when’ part of the whole thing and get flustered. Well truthfully there’s only two options, either before the elopement or after.

Before

Telling your loved ones before the elopement what you have planned for your big day can be really rewarding. Especially when you now they love and respect you and want to support you in your choice. Being able to share your dreams and plans with them is a great way to connect and involve them in the whole process.

Telling them before can also take some of the pressure of if you aren’t sure how they will respond. This may also take away the feeling that “eloping” is a secret or a way to exclude them.

After

Some couples choose to wait until after the elopement to share with loved ones, and that is ok too! For some couples being able to go into their wedding day without the judgement or pressure from others outweighs the “secret’ element.

How To Tell Friends & Family You’re Eloping

Hints lead to questions

The art of subtlety will need to be your friend for this one. Dropping hints to your friends and family about the kind of wedding day you envision can lead to them asking more questions and give you the opportunity to confirm what they may be drawing already.

In Person

This one if for the straight shooters. The blunt truth of sitting your people down and just laying it all out may be the best option if you just want to rip off the Band-Aid and get it over with. Give them all the facts up front and be open to answer questions. Go in with an open heart and know there may be a little backlash at first, but that this can often be overcome.

Announcement/Stationairy

This might work for people who want to be blunt and firm, but the idea of looking your loved ones in the eye with this truth may be too much. Sending beautiful engagement announcements with a “don’t save the date” can be a cute way to let people know. Some couples opt to send out a reception invitation as a way to let family know the ceremony will be private but they plan to do a family thing after.

A Party

This is kind of like the in person option, but rather than a select few you get to tell everyone all at once. Some couples do this at an engagement party.

Couple on their way to elope in a grassy field in Montana

Tips For Telling Friends & Family You’re Eloping

I know this feels a little daunting, telling the people you love most that your opting out of the big trad wedding can be a little overwhelming. I assure you, there are ways to make it smoother. And at the end of the day just remember: Your wedding day is yours alone. You deserve the day you want.

Here are a few quick tips to ease the process and make it as easy as possible:

  • Remember your why – stay true to all the reasons you have chosen to elope. Don’t be afraid to share those thoughts and feeling with your loved ones.
  • Small & Intimate vs. Elopement – as silly as it may seem sometimes the verbiage we use can heavily impact how people feel about the words we say. Using words like Intimate and intentional may help friends and family grasp the purpose of your elopement.
  • Be excited – its really hard to be mad or upset with someone who is steadfast and excited about the news they share. Your excitement will make it harder for them to react negatively even if they may feel some hurt or sadness about your news.
  • Invite them to be involved – including your friends and family in other aspects of your wedding day even if they wont be there for the ceremony may make them feel better. Invite them to write letters to read on your day or join you for dress shopping. There are lots of ways to include them.

Brave The Crazy

It’s not totally foreign for some people to have a bad reaction to your choice to ditch the trad wedding. There are some ways you can navigate all the crazy.

Here are some tips for handling upset:

  • Boundaries – be clear and firm abut your choice and don’t be afraid to let people know you wont be bullied. Setting boundaries around how people choose to react to your choice to elope can help them see your solidarity in your choice and negate negative responses.
  • Facts – Stick to facts and avoid talking about feelings. If someone tries to pose an argument based on their own feelings or guilt you with how they feel you can remind them that their “feelings” may not be based in fact. Assure them while reminding them of the facts. The reasons you are choosing to elope.
  • Deescalate – Sometimes the best way to navigate is by being empathetic. Allow them to feel their feelings and try to change the topic to something more uplifting like ways they can help you or be involved in a positive way.

Remember it is also ok to deem the elopement as a non topic. It’s ok for you to choose not to conversate with people who can’t or wont be happy for you. You don’t have to continue to entertain negativity about your elopement.

Ready To Choose An Elopement For Your Day?

If you are ready to choose an elopement and ditch all those traditional expectations I would love to chat more! Let’s set up a time to talk and start dreaming up all the greatness we can muster!

Inquire Now!

View Packages & Pricing

For more epic resources check out the blog

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